if we practiced conflict, we wouldn't choose war

I have this belief that if we were to diagnose our conflicts, we wouldn’t find ourselves three years deep in bitter silence and resentment, wondering who will crack first.

If we were to deconstruct the stories, examine the facts, treat the symptoms, tend to the root causes, nourish ourselves and each other well in the process — we wouldn’t end up overgiving to the brink of despair, guilt eating away at our insides.

If we were to practice relational skills, enter spaces of generative conflict, and steward power well — we wouldn’t replicate colonial patterns in our intimate relationships.

If we were to embrace the conflicts in front of us, we wouldn’t choose illegal wars, apartheids, genocides.

Utopic, perhaps — maybe even myopic.

But I have this belief that conflict at its best is something that creates, not destructs. A method, an approach. A capacity to build, a space to choose — not inherently a problem to solve.